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"I too have been touched by the devilish one. A tattoo on the left shoulder. Oh, but when I saw the face of God, I was changed. I took the entire arm off." (The OAM

"My name is Mike. His name is BOB." (The OAM)

"Through the darkness of future pasts, the magician longs to see. One chants out between two worlds, 'Fire...walk with me.'" (The OAM)

"Albert, where does this attitude of general unpleasantness come from?" (Cooper and Albert)

"You were visited by a giant?"
"Any relation to the dwarf?" (Truman and Albert)

"You were in business with a couple of glue-sniffing squishheads, Leo." (Ben)

"Morning Lucy, what's going on?" (Truman and Lucy)

"Good Lord, Laura." (Doc Hayward)

"I've got good news. That gum you like is going to come back in style." (The LMFAP)

"Good work Andy."
"Yeah...woof." (Cooper and Albert)

"I plan on writing an epic poem about this gorgeous pie!" (Gordon)

"Well there's no logic at work here, Andy, let that one go. In the grand design, women were drawn from a different set of blueprints." (Cooper and Hawk)

"The old rustic suckerpunch, huh? A hail of bullets would be nice!" (Albert and Cooper)

"Hang loose, haoles!" (Doctor Jacoby)

"It's the secrets people keep that destroy any chance they have of happiness." (James Hurley)

"You're making a joke."
"I like to think of myself as one of the Happy Generations." (Cooper and Albert)

"Great. After the square dance maybe we can all take a hayride." (Albert)

"Audrey, that rightward slant in your handwriting indicates a romantic nature..." (Cooper and Audrey)

"How's Annie? How's Annie?" (Cooper)

"Norma, I'll see you in my dreams." (Bobby and Norma Jennings)

"Sheriff Truman, to see this kind of investigative genius at work...just a real treat for me." (Cooper, Albert, Truman)

"You're quite a girl Norma..." (Mr. Mooney and Norma)

"Diane...it struck me again earlier this morning..." (Cooper)

"I, uh, performed the autopsy on Jacques Renault..." (Albert)

"Laura? Laura?" (Waldo)

"Leo doesn't talk...he hits." (Shelly Johnson)

"Leo needs a new pair of shoes." (Leo Johnson)

"Let's rock!" (The LMFAP)

"Cone...I like to lick." (Audrey)

"For your information, I heard you speaking about Laura Palmer. One day, my log will have something to say about this..." (Log Lady and Cooper)

"Agent Cooper, I have a call for you from a Mr. Albert Rosenfield, sounds like long-distance." (Lucy)

"Look at us, two men apiece and we don't know what to do with any of the four of them." (Norma)

"Look, it's trying to think." (Albert)

"Well, Fred what's your line?" (Blackie and Big Ed)

"Man oh man you must have the metabolism of a bumblebee." (Truman)

"Leland says you're going back to Missoula, Montana!" (Leland/BOB)

"I can't understand a word that you're saying, you have a thing in your mouth." (Catherine)

"I have become deeply moved by the plight of the Tibetan people and filled with the desire to help them." (Cooper)

"Handy work of Leo Johnson, currently appearing at Calhoun Memorial Hospital as Mr. Potatohead." (Albert)

"I can't believe you were ever my age." (Audrey and Cooper)

"She's my cousin. But doesn't she look almost exactly like Laura Palmer?" (LMFAP)

"Each day brings a new beginning." (Invitation to Love)

"There's a new girl at One-Eyed Jack's. Freshly scented from the perfume counter." (Ben)

"New shoes." (Leo)

"Where there's no sense, there's no feeling, Andy!" (Andy and Truman)

"Leland's daughter was murdered and the Norwegians left." (Ben & Jerry)

"In the heat of the investigative pursuit, the shortest distance between two points is not necessarily a straight line." (Cooper)

"My log does not judge." (Log Lady)

"Coop, I may be wearing a dress but I still pull my panties on one leg at a time if you know what I mean?" (Denise Bryson)

"The owls are not what they seem." (The Giant)

"The owls won't see us in here." (Log Lady)

"To have his path made clear is the aspiration of every human being in our beclouded and tempestuous existence." (Maj. Briggs)

"I gotta warn you, Albert's lacking in some of the social niceties." (Cooper and Truman)

"You can have a funeral any ol' time. You dig a hole, you plant a coffin..." (Albert)

"We've laid in a gala reception for your fair-haired boys tonight." (Ben)

"This must be where pies go when they die." (Cooper)

"Eureka! Dale, I could kiss your pointy little head." (Windom Earle)

"Oh fellas, one more thing...pray for the health and safety of James Hurley 'cause if anything happens to him, we're coming for you." (Cooper)

"Harry, I'm gonna let you in on a little secret. Every day, once a day, give yourself a present..." (Cooper)

"May I have your attention please, this is Principal Wolchek..." (Principal Wolchek)

"The best damn sandwich I ever ate." (Jerry)

"Laura had secrets. And around those secrets she built a fortress..." (Dr. Jacoby)

"Secrets are dangerous things, Audrey." (Cooper)

"Agent Cooper, the problems of our entire society are of a sexual nature." (Dr. Jacoby)

"One woman can make you fly like an eagle..." (Hawk)

"Harry, the last thing I want you to worry about while I'm here is some city slicker I brought into your town relieving himself upstream." (Cooper)

"You stupid little slut!" (Leo)

"Cooper, you remind me today of a small Mexican Chihuahua." (Gordon)

"Sounds like you've been snackin' on some of the local mushrooms." (Albert)

"Massive, massive quantities and a glass of water, sweetheart, my socks are on fire!" (Gordon)

"Sorry." (Albert)

"Do you believe the soul?" (Cooper and Hawk)

"The wood holds many spirits, doesn't it Margaret?" (Hawk)

"Seņor Droolcup has, shall we say, a mind that wanders." (Albert)

"Nothing beats the taste sensation when maple syrup collides with ham." (Cooper)

"I'm a terrible person, Agent Cooper. I pretend that I'm not, but I am..." (Dr. Jacoby)

"Shall I compare thee to a summer's day..." (Ben & Jerry)

"...time draws nearer with each ticking tock." (Windom Earle)

"God I love this music. Isn't it too dreamy?" (Audrey)

"I've got one man too many in my life, and I'm married to him. Sound familiar?" (Shelly)

"I have only been in Twin Peaks a short time, but in that time I have seen..." (Cooper and Albert)

"Distinctive wounds found on Laura's neck and shoulder appear to be claw marks..." (Albert and Truman)

"What the hell kind of operation are the running out of this two-bit treehouse, Cooper?" (Albert)

"Two cups of good hot black coffee." (Cooper)

"Albert, where does this attitude of general unpleasantness come from..." (Cooper and Albert)

"Harry, I really have to urinate. Oh! By the way...coffee at the Great Northern? Incredible." (Cooper)

"This is the waiting room. Would you like some coffee?" (LMFAP)

"Where do they keep his water dish?" (Albert)

"Now when the mill goes up in smoke, the headline we're after..." (Ben)

"Hey, what's up Doc? It's Laura Palmer, in case you haven't guessed..." (Laura)

"I've got a lot of cutting and pasting to do gentlemen, so please, why don't you return to your porch rockers and resume whittling." (Albert)

"If you give me your soul, I'll let Annie live." (Windom Earle)

"Yeah. Woof." (Albert)

"Anything we should be working on?" (Truman and Albert)

"As he so succinctly put it, 'I'M WORRIED ABOUT COOP!'" (Albert)

"Wow BOB wow!" (LMFAP)

"What are you waiting for, Christmas? We've got work to do, dammit..." (Albert)

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